Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
