ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize