All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
