I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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