Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize