508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
