in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
