Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
