He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
