You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just invented taco cereal.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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