Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
thus making me awesome and them whores
People with herpes should wear stickers.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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