My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My first STD was from a foam party
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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