I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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