so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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