My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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