Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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