I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
