whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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