So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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