Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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