ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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