The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
