I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
