apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
