a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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