Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
