Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I AM VODKA MAN
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
