The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
