white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
