If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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