her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
