Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
