margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
