yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
