and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
