I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
