I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
where are my pants?
in the oven.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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