oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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