My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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