im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I pour the whiskey from now on
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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