Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
