Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Hoooooo maaaaan

(313): View more from Michigan

Yes?

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm retarded. Again.

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(248): Hoooooo maaaaan (313): Yes? (248): I'm retarded. Again. http://tfl.nu/k0ba

Replies (2) Good night (1282) Bad night (611)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Pussy?

(586): View more from Michigan

how

(248): View more from Michigan

Wat do u mean how?

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(248): Pussy? (586): how (248): Wat do u mean how? http://tfl.nu/4yqk

Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (981)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.

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(440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever. http://tfl.nu/ykgr

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(682): View more from Texas

you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower

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(682): you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower http://tfl.nu/wfgk

Replies (12) Good night (3346) Bad night (1600) Order T-Shirt
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(864): View more from South Carolina

you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

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(864): you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night http://tfl.nu/m2bf

Replies (13) Good night (9749) Bad night (658)
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(847): View more from Illinois

She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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(847): She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night. http://tfl.nu/sdtr

Replies (17) Good night (5882) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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(702): View more from Nevada

If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???

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(702): If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy??? http://tfl.nu/4rkp

Replies (30) Good night (639) Bad night (4782) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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(480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b

Replies (14) Good night (8258) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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(303): I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away http://tfl.nu/qpjo

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(305): View more from Florida

she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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(305): she said she was living bicuriously through me. http://tfl.nu/luix

Replies (14) Good night (3864) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...

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(610): He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine... http://tfl.nu/5jaq

Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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(432): View more from Texas

I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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(432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq

Replies (13) Good night (497) Bad night (3236) Order T-Shirt
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(+61): View more from Australia

I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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(+61): I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7. http://tfl.nu/on6e

Replies (10) Good night (1229) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.

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(305): You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos. http://tfl.nu/9yd3

Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (1178)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!

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(215): THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT! http://tfl.nu/gopq

Replies (27) Good night (424) Bad night (1281) Order T-Shirt

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