There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
