im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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