Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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