If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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