So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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