I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
