How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
