She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
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Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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