ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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