yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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