I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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