just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
