i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
