Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize