Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.