Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Ketchup is God's man juice
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!