I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?