turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?