At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
